God With Us...

That's it. That's the one thing. There are a lot of questions without answers. Questions that we desperately want answers to. And I've wrestled and I've searched and I've wept and sometimes even laughed, wanting only to have an answer.

And here's what I know. It's really hard to make sense out of most things. Karma doesn't exist. There isn't always a why or even a greater purpose. We as human beings experience incredible amounts of tragedy in our lifetime and some of it, most of it, doesn't make any sense. And it hurts. It hurts so much that sometimes we can barely breathe or get out of bed or smile at the person next to us. And all that I know is that Jesus hurts too. But he doesn't hurt from a distance, he hurts here with us. Jesus is Immanuel, God with us. The world is broken and fallen and Jesus' heart is broken with ours. And we don't have to endure it alone and we aren't without hope. Because of the brokenness Jesus came and took on death that we might live with him forever. Because our hearts would break too, Jesus came in the flesh to feel with us, to weep with us, to comfort and care for us in the darkest places so that we could hope in his presence now and into eternity. And he's there in the elated joy too, the times we feel so happy and free, he rejoices with us and hopes with us.

It feels safer to have answers. If there's a reason why, it might make the suffering worth it. But if we're honest, most of the time, there is no reason why. I hope that doesn't make you hurt even more but I hope that you see that God, the creator of all that is, in whose image you were made, loves you so much that he came and lived among us and took on flesh, to comfort you, to reconcile you, to restore you, to show you compassion and weep with you. You will never be alone. You will always be loved, always understood, always seen. Some things are clear and obviously purposeful, some things are made purposeful by our loving God, the world is not without purpose and meaning but when the answers aren't clear we can cling to what is...God is with us. And if you're like me and that's a hard thing for you to remember, when the pain is overwhelming and the questions and doubts are mounting, you might just want to tattoo it on your arm...

ps. major props to my tattoo artist Gabriel who was perfectly zen and yet so excited about this major moment in my life and said, and I quote, "time will stop when you're in that chair..." I'd get another tattoo just to hangout with that guy again ;)

My Love/Hate relationship with Social Media

Social media is pretty amazing and has changed our world in many ways. We get the news before the news gets the news, we can know the thoughts of just about anyone at almost any given moment, we can keep in touch with friends on other continents almost in real time and the list goes on...

There are a lot of reasons I don't like social media. The two main reasons are it highlights my insecurities and makes my brain a little crazy and it often causes me to feel negative feelings towards others as their thoughts, opinions and experiences are expressed aside from their actual selves and a genuine life context. I don't like feeling insecure and judgy so sometimes I'm not a huge fan of social media. 

BUT, that's not why I'm writing this blog post. One of the reasons I DO like social media is it gives an opportunity for our voices to be heard. And at this point in history we need to speak up and take advantage of the fact that we can easily be heard. When I hear people (especially those in power) say that we should turn on an entire group of people based on their religion (race, gender, etc.) as we have heard in the last few days I think about the opportunity we have to stand up for those groups of people. 

Today there are people spreading hate and inciting fear against entire groups of people. Most notably Muslims. I hope that we will make our voices heard when we say "I stand with Muslims". Our neighbors, our fellow humans created by God and thereby given infinite value and worth.

Today people are fearful and turning their fear into hatred of others. Fear is blinding and when we give into it we easily forget who we are and what is really valuable. But I hope our voices will be heard when we say "Perfect love casts out all fear". Because love is greater and more powerful than fear. Love heals, love frees and love gives sacrificially.

Today people are closing their borders and their hearts to millions of displaced refugees, to those fleeing from the violence we are suspicious of them for. I hope they will hear us when we say "our home is your home". Everything we have is a gift and we have no greater right to safety and freedom than any other human being. I hope that those seeking a place where they and their children will be safe or at least have a chance to survive, will find shelter with us.

I hope the voices of unity, love, safety and freedom will be louder than those of hate, division, violence and oppression. I am a Christian and I long to love like Christ. It's costly and difficult and often I fail, but I hope that as I speak and act people will hear the voice of Jesus as he says, "let them know you by your love...bless those who persecute you...love your enemies...love your neighbor as yourself...greater love has no one than this than to lay down one's life for his friends." 

So thanks social media, for letting my voice be heard today. 

Gaby

"Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away."

As a Christian there are certain ways I have learned to process certain events...
Today I received news that I had no idea how to process.

Gaby was a homeless woman who lived in the bushes near the gas station down the street from my school.  Several years ago I began visiting her. I would bring her meals or snacks and pray for her. I did share the gospel with her but I don't think she could understand me. No matter what I would say she would always reply, "yes, yes" or sometimes I would get a hearty "thank you". I could never tell if she really knew what I was saying, if you knew the love that had grown in my heart for her or most importantly if she knew God's love.

Sometimes I would take my students to see her and we would bring her lunch. One of my students, feeling great compassion towards her, told her mom (also a teacher at my school) and they began visiting Gaby as well.

This morning, my student came to me and told me that Gaby had passed away. I had feared her death for so long, anxiousness overwhelming me everytime I drove by her spot at the gas station. But today my fear became a reality. Death is something I've faced before and it's always difficult. But this time... there is no way of knowing if she really knew Christ, there is no one to call and give my condolences to, no funeral...

So what can I take away from this? Tomorrow is never guaranteed. There are Gaby's everywhere, people who are alone and in great need. If I pass them by today, I have no promise that I will see them tomorrow.

God is always on mission. He purposes that we would live on mission. Who has God put in your path today? How will/did you respond?

Lord, we ask that you give us your eyes to see, your heart to love and boldness to proclaim your word to a lost and dying world. Amen.