God With Us...

That's it. That's the one thing. There are a lot of questions without answers. Questions that we desperately want answers to. And I've wrestled and I've searched and I've wept and sometimes even laughed, wanting only to have an answer.

And here's what I know. It's really hard to make sense out of most things. Karma doesn't exist. There isn't always a why or even a greater purpose. We as human beings experience incredible amounts of tragedy in our lifetime and some of it, most of it, doesn't make any sense. And it hurts. It hurts so much that sometimes we can barely breathe or get out of bed or smile at the person next to us. And all that I know is that Jesus hurts too. But he doesn't hurt from a distance, he hurts here with us. Jesus is Immanuel, God with us. The world is broken and fallen and Jesus' heart is broken with ours. And we don't have to endure it alone and we aren't without hope. Because of the brokenness Jesus came and took on death that we might live with him forever. Because our hearts would break too, Jesus came in the flesh to feel with us, to weep with us, to comfort and care for us in the darkest places so that we could hope in his presence now and into eternity. And he's there in the elated joy too, the times we feel so happy and free, he rejoices with us and hopes with us.

It feels safer to have answers. If there's a reason why, it might make the suffering worth it. But if we're honest, most of the time, there is no reason why. I hope that doesn't make you hurt even more but I hope that you see that God, the creator of all that is, in whose image you were made, loves you so much that he came and lived among us and took on flesh, to comfort you, to reconcile you, to restore you, to show you compassion and weep with you. You will never be alone. You will always be loved, always understood, always seen. Some things are clear and obviously purposeful, some things are made purposeful by our loving God, the world is not without purpose and meaning but when the answers aren't clear we can cling to what is...God is with us. And if you're like me and that's a hard thing for you to remember, when the pain is overwhelming and the questions and doubts are mounting, you might just want to tattoo it on your arm...

ps. major props to my tattoo artist Gabriel who was perfectly zen and yet so excited about this major moment in my life and said, and I quote, "time will stop when you're in that chair..." I'd get another tattoo just to hangout with that guy again ;)

Sometimes Goliath Kicks the S#*t out of David...

We love the stories of triumphant underdog, the overcomers, defeating giants, the unexpected victory. Those are the stories we tell, the ones we make into movies and books. To be honest, they're the ones I want to hear, read about or watch in a film. I want those stories because in real life, well, in real life, "sometimes Goliath kicks the shit out of David, it's just nobody ever bothers to tell that story". That's actually a line from one of my favorite, and very insightful ;) movies "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton" (you never know where you're going to find wisdom!) We know that in the fleeting vapor that is this life, good doesn't always triumph, the underdog often remains in their lowly position and some people never overcome.

There are other stories in the Bible, less popular for sure. Stories of extreme heartache and loss. Stories of God's faithful servants devastated and left to doubt all that they were sure of. What happens when God doesn't show up? When He doesn't rescue you or come through? Why aren't we telling those stories?

Is He still God? Still good? Still present? Sovereign? When He leads you into heartache, can you still trust Him? Can you be sure you heard Him in the first place or that He even speaks to you? There are hard questions that need to be asked. Questions that, if we're honest, might never be answered.

Sometimes the questions are all we have. Some we think we know the answers to and we wait in hope that our hearts will soon believe what our minds are convinced of. Some, I'm sure, we'll never find the answers to. Can we find encouragement and hope when there is no obvious victory? Can we trust a God we don't understand?

One of the things God commands repeatedly in His Word is "to remember". The reason I think He wants us to remember is that, if we do, carefully scan our memories, we will remember obvious times of victory, times where our prayers were answered exactly as we prayed them, sometimes miraculously. In remembering those times we might be able to muster up enough faith to make it through the times when God seems absent or cruel. Because if God is unchanging, then His faithfulness then is the same today, I just may not have the ability to perceive it. And when I doubt His goodness, I either have to doubt everything the Bible says or I have to put aside that doubt because if I question one area of biblical thought, I have to question them all. So if I believe that God is merciful and forgives my sins, I have to believe that He is good and acts out of love always, because that's what the Bible says. In remembering, I can move forward. Remembering God's past faithfulness helps me to believe in His present and future faithfulness, even if I can't discern it at the time.

Sometimes, Goliath wins. It's not the ending we want, and maybe it doesn't make any sense but it doesn't change who God is. We are faced with this truth, one that I am daily trying to grasp; Our hope is not in the ways of our God (which we may pretend to understand) but in God Himself. May we hope in our God in and through all things, who is the same yesterday, today and forever.

Oh, give thanks to the LORD!
Call upon His name;
Make known His deeds among the peoples!

Sing to Him, sing psalms to Him;
Talk of all His wonderous works!

Glory in His holy name;
Let the hearts of those rejoice who seek the LORD!

Seek the LORD and His strength;
Seek His face evermore!

Remember His marvelous works which He has done,
His wonders, and the judgments of His mouth,

O seed of Israel His servant,
You children of Jacob, His chosen ones!

He is the LORD our God;
His judgments are in all the earth.

Remember His covenant forever,
The word which He commanded, for a thousand generations...

1 Chronicles 16:8-15