His Way is Perfect

Remember that month where you suffered a loss in relationship, your roommate had emergency surgery, your car broke down, your sister fell and wound up in the ER, your stepmom lost her job, you lost your wallet only to find it later with everything missing including your Golden Spoon stamp card (are there no decent people left in the world??!), BOTH your Grandma's were in the hospital, you drove to Colorado for rest and refuge but had to pull off the highway because the first snow of the year came hard in the middle of your drive and because your wallet was stolen you had no way to pay for your hotel room and had to call your Dad? Yea...

We've all had months like this, where NOTHING seems to go our way. Some are much harder than this, and some seem to last all year. We live in a broken and fallen world. We are broken people. We take on too much and can't keep up. We carry the burdens of others sometimes forgetting ourselves. We stumble and fall and make bad choices. And confusion and heartache seem to reign.

And then... the miracle. NOTHING changes. But God. Immanuel, God with us. Somewhere in the chaos and crying out you hear Him, that still, small voice "I am with you". Somewhere in the blinding, blur you see Him, wide arms ready to embrace you. Joy, trust, peace, even laughter take over your heart, your mind, and you fall back into His arms.

We were not promised easy, we were not promised a life without pain or trials, the opposite is actually true. But He promised He'd be with us. If you can stop, for even a second in the swirling chaos and listen, you'll hear Him, you will know that He is ever present and faithful. He will deliver you, He will not leave you. He will be strong for you. He will comfort, protect and provide for you.

I stood in the middle of Arches National Park (a place you MUST go if you can!) with large rock formations surrounding me on every side. On my way to Colorado to visit friends, I made the ridiculously long drive by myself on purpose. I wanted time to hear Him, to pray and share my heart with the One who created it. I wanted space and quiet and beauty and didn't really want to share it with anyone but Jesus. And truth be told, I wanted to be able to pee whenever I wanted and sing along with N'Sync at the top of my lungs without bothering another human.

I was so overwhelmed by the beauty of the park, I almost forgot to stop and listen to the One who created it. I came down a steep rock pathway and looked up at the daunting structure in front of me and said, "God, what do you want to say to me?" And He spoke the words of Psalm 18 to my heart, "I will make your feet like the feet of a deer, and cause you to stand on heights. With Me, you can scale a wall. Who is God besides me and who is the Rock except our God? As for Me, My way is perfect, my word is flawless." And His words like fresh water in a dry and weary land refreshed and strengthened me and reminded me that He was, indeed, with me.

It took three days but I finally reached my destination, the home of dear friends who offered me a place of Refuge for the week, opening their hearts and their home to me. On my bed was a red envelope, actual mail! My sweet friend had sent me mail all the way in Colorado! She wrote beautiful words from her own heart, words of love and affirmation and on the backside wrote these verses;

  "As for God, his way is perfect: the Lord's word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in Him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he causes me to stand on heights." 2 Samuel 22:31-34

And more laughter and joy and awareness of His presence, His faithfulness and goodness towards me.  And though my flesh and my heart may fail as for my God, my Rock and my Refuge...His way is perfect.

Am I Enough? A Response to "The New Legalism"

I posted the link to an article on my fb wall simply because I thought it was interesting and worth thinking about and apparently others did too... I wrote this blog in response to a comment thread posted on the wall of someone else who posted it (confused yet?) because I just had too much to say to put it in a fb comment ;) To read the article click here

 I run a street outreach to women and men involved in prostitution in Los Angeles. I'm also a waitress, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and possibly my favorite role...an Aunt. Most importantly though I am a child of God. As I stepped into this ministry in LA I found that with it came a certain amount of undeserved regard and dare I say... fame? I am not some sort of super Christian, I'm not even a "good" Christian, if you can be one of those. I wrestle everyday with the sacrifices I have had to make and often beg God to change my circumstances. But I choose obedience, I choose it again and again and again and by the grace of God I will never stop choosing it.

 I often wonder what people would think of me if I stepped out of the ministry and "just" waited tables and babysat my nephew. Would I still be held in such high regard? But I remember that it's not what I do that gives me my worth or value, and it's certainly not what others think of me... it's who I am in Jesus. So if everything is stripped away and it's just me and Jesus, my worth will be the same and I will be loved the same by my God.

It does feel like we make celebrity Christians out of those who do things we consider radical and it also feels like there is some pressure to strive for that status. I think the main point is that we are called. That's it. Called to love kids, refugees, grocery store clerks, women who are prostituted and women who live next door. It's interesting because I can walk up to anyone on the street and share Christ but I tend to keep to myself at home and don't think you'll find me evangelizing the guy on the plane next to me or the grocery store clerk, it's not likely. But my best friend is a stay at home mom of six in the suburbs and every darn store clerk in town hears about Jesus if not from her then from her kids...and I think that's radical! So at the end of the day each one of us needs to ask "What is God calling me to do?" and then, we need to do it. We ought not compare it with our neighbor because God has given them a different calling and purpose in God's kingdom. And more importantly than asking God "what should I do?" we need to stop and remember that it's not about what we do but what He did and who He is...those things will never change.

Some days I feel more connected to God and more fruitful for His kingdom when I rock my nephew to sleep and pray over him or share a latte with one of my co-workers from the restaurant than when I'm ministering on the street. But I honestly don't really know the impact I'm having in any of those places and might never...it's simply mine to obey... to love God and love others.

Now to switch gears a little let me say this, I believe that purposefully living for Jesus in the city, vocation, family, etc. that He places you in... IS missional living. So by that definition it doesn't matter what we're doing it's whether or not we're making the choice to honor God where He has placed us. That seems simple enough to me.

Let me play devil's advocate here for a minute and say this, there is, I believe, an equal tendancy in the conservative American church to glorify stay at home moms who home school their kids, have organic farms and sew their own clothes. Really, there is A LOT of pressure to live up to this standard from where I stand. I've seen families criticized and rejected by other Christians who move to the city and put their kids in public school in answer to the call of God. I've seen moms homeschool their kids more in response to community pressure than a genuine calling from God. Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE my homeschooling mom friends and admire their hearts for and commitment to their families, and I might even like to be one someday, but it's not because I think they are better Christians than city-dwelling moms who put their kids in public school.  So, it seems that the true issue is that often, we, none of us, are satisfied or confident in the position God has given us (eye, elbow, armpit...) and we desire, strive even, to be like others more than we are strive to be like Jesus, to be accepted by others rather than resting in our full acceptance in Jesus.

The last point I'll make before I wrap up is a response to this quote from the author, "I actually know of a couple who were being so “missional” they decided to not procreate for the sake of taking care of orphans. ". I don't really understand why Mr. Bradley felt the need to say this but if he was going where I think he was, I am offended for those people. It is an INCREDIBLE sacrifice to choose to give up having your own children to answer the call of God to care for the children of others. There are some who are called to care for the orphan and often times on such a great level that to have their own children would impede their ability to obey that calling. It doesn't make them a better Christian than you or I, but there is no need to minimize the sacrifice they have made in making that choice. It is choosing to live in obedience and full surrender, this is what God has asked of each one of us and it looks different for each one of us.

And one more time let me just say that what truly matters is your relationship with Jesus...The things you have, the things you do...may all be gone tomorrow... but what you will have, is Jesus and that will always be enough.


Postscript
Several years ago I heard a teaching that forever changed how I thought about my relationship with God. The pastor used two portions of scripture to make a point that has had a lasting impact on my life.

"If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love." John 15:10 Want to love God? Obey His commandments. Let's see what they say...

"And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.' This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." Mark 12:30,31 Want to obey His commandments? Love God. Want to love God? See above... Welcome to the circle, Love God...it's that simple.

When My Father Comes... After Hours Ministry Update

Last Friday night we met a young woman, A. We spoke with A for some length of time. She seemed really open and shared quite a bit about herself. We asked her if she wanted prayer and she asked that we would pray for her father to be released from prison. She went on to explain that she felt unprotected and alone without him and that she believed her life would significantly change when he was able to care for and protect her. She believed the answer to her leaving the life of prostitution was to have her father back in her life. As I was listening I heard the Lord say, “tell her I am”. Over and over I kept hearing that and knew I had to tell her that all the things she hoped her earthly father to be, her heavenly was and more.

By the grace of God I was able to speak this truth to her and in the moment she seemed to respond. She went from saying “if” and “when” to “now”. I told her that her heavenly Father was able to deliver her now and perhaps we were sent just for that reason.

This interaction with A spoke volumes to my heart. How often do we say to ourselves “I will do this or that…if and when” when God is already there, ready to deliver us. We look to the things of this world, to other people to take a role that was meant for God alone. We will always come up short when we seek to fill God’s position with another. And yet, when God takes this rightful position we are free to be in a right relationship with others and the world around us.

“A” did leave the street that night, whether out of faith (that God had come to deliver her) or fear (of her current circumstances)… I don’t really know. What I do know is God met us there and will continue to do so. God knows the depths of our hearts and speaks straight to them. God comforts us, guides us, assures us, provides for us, and desires to be our all and the choice is ours. In the last few days as I have interacted with A, I can sense the battle taking place within her. To choose to be free is to choose to walk by faith, faith in a God who is not necessarily tangible (though even our presence on Friday night challenges that idea) and may even seem distant in light of her current circumstances, or to continue on bound up in chains always waiting for “if” or “when”.

Please pray for A to choose life. Pray that she will know God as God is, our gracious and merciful Father who longs to restore us. Jesus, who has come and made a way for us out of bondage and into everlasting life. May her image of an earthly father be changed and replaced by the gentle, yet firm love and faithfulness of our heavenly Father.

“For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father. The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs–heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” Romans 8:15-18