The Deeper Idol

"One of the signs that an object is functioning as an idol is that fear becomes one of the chief characteristics of life. When we center our lives on the idol, we become dependent on it. If our counterfeit god is threatened in any way, our response is complete panic." Timothy Keller, Counterfeit Gods

You never know what is at the center of your heart until you risk losing it. And you think you know, at least you know what should be there, until you face a great loss. But the one who should be at the center, could never be lost.

The temptation will always be there, to allow something mortal, temporary and completely unable to fill the void in that space. All of us are tempted in different ways and perhaps in all of them throughout different seasons. We try to fill it without even knowing it. We believe that love, money, power or success can give us what we so desperately need; to feel whole, loved, and accepted.
There is One who can fill that space, who can fill our whole being to overflowing if we'll but clear the way.

Clearing the way is often painful. It involves digging up deep rooted idols. But we will never know how fully we could be filled until we allow for this. We will never be able to properly appreciate all that we have until we put it in its proper place. We can actually love more completely when we ourselves are filled with God's love but He has to be given His proper place in order to do this. No person or thing can fill you and attempting to let them only places a pressure on them that they will never be able to bear.

Our expectations were created to be met by God. God who is whole, pure, holy, righteous, love. No person or thing can ever be all those things perfectly and they were not meant to be. This is the place that God is meant to occupy. I wish that I could have seen without having to experience great loss, that my hands had been open, that my grip had been loose on it's own. But I clung to that which I believed would meet my needs, the need to feel validated, appreciated, seen.  The struggle won't go away, it will be a lifelong process but hopefully we learn to cling more and more to that which can truly satisfy, what our hearts long for.


 God in His kindness, looses the deeper idols of our hearts to fill them with Himself. We are reminded like Hagar, abandoned by all she had placed her hope in, that God, "El Roi" is the God who sees us. He hears us, rescues us, loves us completely. And it's not that relationships and things are not good, but they are not meant to be possessed or to possess us and can only be truly appreciated when they are seen as gifts from the one who can complete us. His to give and His, in sovereign goodness, to take away.

He is the one thing. The one that we are searching for. His presence, His love, mercy and grace can never be taken from us and so rightly ought to occupy the first place in our hearts.

I'm still learning this, like literally, at this moment. Actually, though I've heard teachings on it and read about it many times before, this is the first time I really get it. I think I cognitively understood it before but now my heart is resonating and I actually feel the empty space, the temptation to fill it with a myriad of things and the incredible and persistent drawing of the Lord to press in and give him his rightful place in my heart. There is more to behold, more of my heart to be cleared and more to be possessed by Him.

"Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God's love for them." Jonah 2:8
May we, with open hands, turn our hearts towards His love.

Redefining Success

I've started to write this post at least a dozen times. I feel like it's something I'm constantly faced with in this ministry. I also feel like no one else (save my teammates and those in similar ministries) will understand and so I struggle to put down in words what is so evident to my heart and mind but likely foreign to the rest of the world (ok, maybe not the WHOLE world!).

We are often asked what our success rate is in ministry. I think that means "how many people have been saved and are now radically living for Jesus, off the streets and walking in abundant life?"
To which I would reply "maybe one or two...". Then I start working on my resume and filling out job applications because apparently I'm just wasting everyone's time and need to do something else with my life, something "successful".

But God has changed my perspective and now my reply is different... now I say, "we have redefined success and we have new successes everyday." I didn't just come up with that to make all of us feel better about spending our time, money and talents on this ministry, but because I actually believe it.

As I write this my heart is grieving the choice a young woman made earlier today to leave the safe house we had brought her to and go.... well, I don't actually know where she went, but I would guess back to her pimp. She called just last night and we picked her up and took her to a safe place for the night. This morning the battle was intense and I honestly believe that she wanted to choose life but she just wasn't quite ready. And you, like me, may be really tempted to be discouraged by that story but we shouldn't be. We should see it as a great success that she held onto our number and called when she wanted help, that she took a step of faith even if it was small, that she saw that there are people who care and are willing to sacrifice to help her choose life...when she's ready.

So for us success looks like a young woman taking one of our gift bags, telling us part of her story, letting us pray for her, or calling us when she needs help. Last week I asked one of the women if what we were doing was a blessing to her. Not because I wanted her to give me a pat on the back but because I have no intention of wasting my time or hers, if we need to change how we are reaching out, I want to know. Her response was powerful. She said, "Sure it's just a gift bag and that's not what we really need, but everytime you come out here and give us one, we know that someone cares about us and that means a lot. No one cares about us, prostitutes die all the time and no one cares." And so maybe that's what success looks like, proving to someone who feels abandoned and rejected that someone actually cares and that that's not going to change.

We would love to see these women coming to Christ and leaving the streets in droves and perhaps we will someday, but for now, we have redefined success and we praise God for His faithfulness in each and every one of them. It is His work, done by His Spirit, in His time. Maybe success looks like us being faithful when we don't see the results we expect.

"Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help, Whose hope is in the LORD his God, Who made heaven and earth, The sea, and all that is in them; Who keeps truth forever, Who executes justice for the oppressed, Who gives food to the hungry. The LORD gives freedom to the prisoners.The LORD opens the eyes of the blind; The LORD raises those who are bowed down; The LORD loves the righteous. The LORD watches over the strangers; He relieves the fatherless and widow; But the way of the wicked He turns upside down. The LORD shall reign forever--Your God, O Zion, to all generations. Praise the LORD!" Psalm 146:5-10


*Would you keep praying for D, the young woman we were able to minister to these last 24 hours? She has tasted and seen....pray that she will return and receive life!