This last week, I made a bad decision. In a split second of time, I made the wrong decision. It was stupid. It had consequences. It was scary and painful and it's effects will weigh out into the future.
Two things happened in that moment. One, I knew I made the wrong decision. It was stupid and foolish. But even though I knew all those things to be true, I also knew I wasn't stupid or bad or foolish. I wasn't going to be defined by that one decision. I am so grateful for this truth and grateful that I actually believe it. This, is grace.
The second, was that the consequences of my decision were far less than they could have been. It could have been so so so much worse. Did God prevent consequences entirely? No. Could He have? Sure. But I saw God's protection and grace in that moment more than I have in a long time. Protection and grace that have always been there, in every circumstance, but that I wasn't always able to see. It caused me to think about all the other hard things I'd experienced recently; about how there are so many things I don't see and understand, about how others need grace as much as I do, about how so many things are working together mysteriously for good even when the ending isn't what we'd hoped for. This, is grace.
Now all of this is still a mystery to me and I won't pretend it doesn't still hurt but there's comfort in the grace of God, there's comfort in the presence of God and a God who is faithful even when we are faithless.
I hope that when you look at your life, when you look in the mirror, you don't see one or even many bad choices you might have made but you see the grace and beauty of God, in whose image you are made. I hope you see that grace overcomes, grace overwhelms, grace heals and gives new life even among the ruins.
Love you friends,
Jen
They shall build up the ancient ruins; they shall raise up the former devastations; they shall repair the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations. Isaiah 61:4
No comments:
Post a Comment