Tear Ducts

I cry a lot. It's kind of annoying, even for me, ok, especially for me. I wish I had better control of my tear ducts but that seems to be one thing I really can't conquer. They are just independent and stubborn and relentless.

I don't necessarily cry without reason. Life is painful. And I believe some of us feel it a little more acutely than others. We feel it with others and for others and of course, for ourselves. And never mind the reckless hormones and sleeves with hearts on them.

This year I've been to four funerals. Spent more than a dozen days in three different hospitals with three different people. Had my heart broken in more ways than one. Life can be really painful.

But I've also seen loved ones healed, welcomed new babies into the world, had my heart healed in ways I never thought possible.

All of the above invoke tears. I sometimes wonder if my tear ducts are broken or loose or something? I cry when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I just feel anything at all. And maybe it's awkward sometimes and makes people feel uncomfortable but I'm grateful. I'm grateful for the ability to feel. Along with the intense pain that life often brings, I feel a deep joy that I might not know otherwise.

It can be exhausting and overwhelming, feeling so much. Very few things are meaningless or easy to let go of. It can work in the negative. I can become hardened when I'm hurt. And even though I know I can easily fall into the despair of overwhelming emotions, I also know God can pull me through, can soften my heart and renew my strength.

One of the most treasured attributes of Jesus was compassion. Compassion means "to suffer with". I'd like to think that I have compassionate tear ducts, suffering with others, feeling with them both the joys and the sorrows.

And maybe it's annoying or makes people uncomfortable but I have to believe that some people are grateful because it gives them the freedom to feel as well. To cry for "no reason" or when their hearts are broken or when they've received the best news ever.  It's been said that vulnerability isn't the absence of strength, but a necessary part of it. Loose tear ducts might not be such a bad thing after all...

Is THIS Christmas???

This Christmas season has been especially difficult for me. It's hard to say why exactly...well, that's not true, I could tell you why but there are so many reasons that you would get bored halfway through, nod off and never get to the amazing message you know you're going to get out this blog!

Anyways... I have had a hard week. And in the midst of this hard week I have been desparate to focus on what matters, Jesus, rather than my mounting circumstances. I haven't done a very good job. It seems like I get a little hopeful and something else hits and I'm lying in a puddle of sorrow on the floor (not really, but isn't the imagery great?).

So this morning I'm sitting in a beautiful Christmas service with a family of friends that I adore. Celebrating with them as they dedicate their newborn son and I'm fighting just to stay engaged. Now, granted there was an adorable 4 year old whispering in my ear most of the service, but that wasn't what was really distracting me. I kept wondering why my heart wasn't engaging? Or connecting? Or whatever it was supposed to be doing...The words of the preacher just sounded like every other sermon and I knew it wasn't him...it was my heart. But in the midst of my questioning, something happened...it was as if time stood still, the sounds of the choir and the sight of children dancing faded into the background... and I saw her. She was probably in her mid 20's, it looked as if she had come alone, and she was crying. Suddenly, she was the focal point of the room. And as I saw her tears, I thought "this is what it's all about". Who knows why she was crying, maybe she was mourning a loss, maybe she was crying tears of joy because of her Savior, maybe she was overwhelmed with loneliness... But at that moment I knew, He came for her. He came to wipe her tears forever, to bind up her broken heart and set her free from sin and death. He came to do that for each and every one of us.

The good news is that He came. And that she and millions of others gathererd today to worship Him because He is who He says He is and does what He says He will do. There is great hope and joy in Jesus and no matter life's circumstances, that doesn't change.

The holidays are meant to be a season of rejoicing and yet so often, for so many, they are a season of great pain and sorrow. If that is true for you and you find yourself distracted and disengaged, know that He is your comforter, your healer, your friend and your Savior. Fix your eyes on Him and rejoice, for He has come! (see...bet you're glad you didn't nod off at the beginning!)

And the angel said to them, "Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great JOY that will be for ALL the people." - Luke 2:10

Ok, now if you just really want to laugh and you want to watch the video where the line "is THIS Christmas?" comes from, watch this episode of Kid History "The True Meaning of Christmas". It has nothing to do with the true meaning of Christmas...BUT it's hilarious!

Merry Christmas friends!