It was once said that home is where the heart can laugh without shyness and where the heart's tears can dry at their own pace. I hope this space will be a place you find yourself at home. I hope you will find safety, comfort and joy on these pages. You are seen and you are loved dear friend. Thanks for stopping by!

Wednesday, June 08, 2016

Uninstagrammable

I've gained some weight in the last year. I'm not that worried about it, my weight tends to fluctuate. Still, no one wants to admit that and when I do all my friends say really sweet things like "you can't even tell!" "you are so tall, that it just spreads out" "studies have been done that up to ten pounds only you will notice (wait, really?? how would you even do a study like that?!)" They are SO good to me.

But my pants know and the mirror knows and me in a bikini knows...
And today, today the dress I tried on at Goodwill knew and didn't even try to sugar coat it. In fact, in order to really make its point, it got STUCK on my shoulders. I couldn't pull it down and I couldn't pull it up. No joke.

I started sweating and breathing a little faster and had horrible images flashing through my head of myself calling for help from some innocent sales person who was going to have to 1) see me half naked 2) pull a muscle while pulling REALLY hard to remove this leech of a dress off me and/or 3) cut me out of the dress because there was NO OTHER WAY...

Apparently this happens often enough for people to make cartoons about it...


Then I imagined myself having to pay for this dress that had now been cut in two. By now the whole store would have gathered to see what all the commotion was about...

I want to blame it on my super buff shoulders from doing yoga regularly but really it's most likely due to several chai lattes a day and gummy candies by the bag. ummm... yea.

Well, the good news is after a VERY desperate prayer (Jesus cares about EVERYTHING people!) and A LOT of stretching, I managed to get the dress off. I also managed to hurt my back. A price I'm certain was worth it considering the public humiliation that was awaiting me.

That's your #uninstagrammable moment for the week, stay tuned for more horrifying moments that only yours truly could experience. And next time something REE DIC U LUS happens to you, remember; you're not alone and if you send your best friends a text relaying the fiasco they will most likely respond with "reason 203,703,808 why I love you" ;)
xoxo, Jen
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1 comment:

Unknown said...

Jen Lynn, this made me feel nervous reading about your fitting room trauma as I too have had close calls to being stuck in the clothes I was trying on. I'm glad you had a successful ending. Jesus really does hear all our prayers.

8:11 PM

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