Vulnerability

"Vulnerability is our most accurate measure of courage" Brene Brown

God has called me into great vulnerabiltiy over the last couple of years, I have had this "vulnerability hangover" that author Brene Brown mentions, on more occasions than not. I have felt raw and exposed and anything but brave. One definition I found of brave was; Ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage. I have been given the opportunity (doesn't that word make it sound a lot more fun??) to face pain and even danger on multiple occasions in the last few years. One of the most incredible things about each of these situations was that in facing what I feared most and often finding that my fears were in fact founded, I also made it through. The things I feared the most didn't kill me or destroy me and in facing my fears, in sitting in that place of pain and doubt and looking for God's presence in the midst of it, I most often found healing.

 I think if we knew what we were asking for when we asked for healing, we might hesitate. We think healing will come as God floods our life with joy and answered prayers that will make up for all we have lost or feel we are lacking. And in a sense, it will, but most often the joy comes as we realize His presence in the midst of our suffering and questions, as the psalmist says, "in His presence is the fullness of joy", fewer things draw us into God's presence more than our desperate need for him in times of suffering. I absolutely believe God works through our vulnerability. As we open ourselves to God and others we are able to be changed, to grow, to heal, to ask hard questions, to dream, to hope, to live. We learn that we belong to one another, that we are seen and heard and loved in the truest version of ourselves.

One more thing I want to say is how grateful I am for those who have helped me live into this. Those who have listened as I've shared my thoughts in ways that are disjointed and often confusing. Who have sat with me as I've cried. Your presence in my life is invaluable and is what allows me to be courageous. With all my heart, thank you. May each of us be a safe place for others to show how courageous they are.