"And I'll stand with arms high and heart abondoned, in awe of the one who made it all. I'll stand my sould Lord to You surrended, All I am is yours..."
Every once in awhile in the middle of singing a worship song I realize I can't honestly sing the words of the song or it doesn't really accurately describe my relationship to Jesus. I was singing the above earlier tonight and thought "all I am is yours...should I really be singing that?"
No, its not the idea of giving my all to Jesus that stops me in my tracks, I would be a fool to give anything less. Rather, it's the idea that He would receive all of me, "ALL I am is yours" for that I can feel nothing but deep sorrow and remorse at the offering I have to give.
There's a passage in Romans 1 that talks about God giving over unbelievers to their desire, read this list with me..."being filled with unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness, full of envy, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful..." such were "they" whom God gave over to their debased minds". How close am I to becoming the "they"? What separates me from "them"? I have been all those things some... even today. And yet, I have received the mercy of God AND He has received me. Not because I am like Him (though made in His image as we all are) but because that is who He is, He is love, He is mercy and truth, He is kindness... He is everything that I am not. Because I have recognized who He is and who I am not, because I have worshipped the Creator, not the creature (though this not even fully as I am daily tempted to turn my gaze elsewhere).
Do you ever think about the fruits of the spirit(qualities opposite of those listed above)? How things like joy, kindness and steadfastness are supernatural?! It's not in my flesh to be good or patient or have self control, these are supernatural works of the Holy Spirit. Not only has God received me just as I am but He is willing and able to display these fruits in my life. He is willing...but am I?
Were it dependent upon the depths of my own heart hopelessness would reign... but in light of the truth of the gospel, because of who God is I have a hope that is greater than any earthly thing, a hope that cannot be extinguished by my own failure, a hope that will remain even as my faith falters. Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. Jesus has given His life for mine. Jesus has received me, all of me and there was never anything I could do to deserve it.
And so I'll sing loudly, with great joy...with great hope...."I'll stand (God help me stand for You) with arms high and heart abondoned in AWE of the One who gave it all, I'll stand my soul Lord to you surrendered (God help me surrender) all I am is Yours (Jesus make my life an offering pleasing to you)."
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