Bosnia

I had written this after my return trip to Bosnia in 2005 and never published it... I still marvel at how God brought me there...twice!!!

As I arrived in the Sarajevo airport tears came to my eyes as I reflected upon the faithfulness of God to bring me back to this land and these people whom I love and had long to desired to see again. I understood Paul's heart when he wrote the Thessalonians how he longed to be with them and would come to them when God made a way. Praise God for the doors He opened for me to return to Bosnia.

Minutes after I arrived we drove and hour and a half to the city of Zenica where there are two students with a heart to start a student ministry. We joined them for an evening Bible study in the hopes that they would be encouraged by the fellowship and the Word.
The next morning we took a three hour bus ride to Tuzla where we met with three young women who have very little fellowship, especially with those their own age. They were delighted to be with other Christians who they could open up with and pray with.
On my third day we attended the local evangelical church and an evangelistic course that evening. It was an incredible blessing to fellowship with the believers there and to see the hand of God upon the country, He is doing an awesome work!
The next day was my birthday and we went up in the mountains and walked in the snow, there was 3 meters of snow! We had hot chocolate that was more like hot pudding and then went to the city for my favorite food "krumpirsa" or "pita" (fillow dough filled with potato goodness and covered with sour cream!). That evening they asked me to teach the student Bible study which was an incredible blessing and they even surprised me with a birthday cake!

How to stand in one place

"what this God has brought me, what this God has taught me, passion and grace, how to stand in one place, laughing at lillies, what truly fulfills me, death on a cross, it was I that was lost, oh this God has been life to these bones..."

In January I will have lived in Thousand Oaks (ish...) for 5 years, other than Santa Barbara that's the longest I've ever lived anywhere. I've always loved adventure, I think some of us are just wired that way, we can pick up and go in just a few days and we find it exciting! I remember when I was young and I would listen to my friends tell me about these trips they would go on around the world, and thinking "I will probably never leave North America"... I never could have imagined what God had in store for me. It started in college when the Lord put it on my heart to join a missions trip to Bosnia (of all places!). I loved it, I loved the country, the people, the traveling. The next calling was even more beyond my imagination...to move to Germany! Once there, God opened the doors for me to travel to over a dozen countries and I fell just as much in love with each one. I knew God had given me a heart for the nations and a calling to go.

For many this kind of lifestyle of all always moving around, never knowing what's coming next would be more than frustrating but for me it is life giving and faith building. What is difficult for me...is staying.
When I moved to Thousand Oaks I believed God called me (and I still do), He had given me His Word several times and confirmed it through others. Yet, I came believing it was for one purpose never knowing that as my dreams crashed around me, God would use the death of that one purpose to bring me into a season of greater trust, greater hope (eventually), greater strength and wait, what's this...a time to stay.

Every other time I moved on to something new in my life it was to move me into a new season with the Lord, but this time He has led me to stay  that I might gain more of Him. There is no other situation I have desired to leave more, but in staying my relationships have strengthened, my understanding of who God is has grown, and I have been given opportunities I never could have dreamed of.

I'm so thankful He has taught me to stand in one place and watch Him keep His word and "work all things together for good for those who love Him".

After Hours Update

Sorry for the delay in writing this, there has been so much going on, it is hard to find time to sit and write.


I really just want to give thanks to the Lord for all that He has done and is doing...we have so clearly seen His hand in the last several weeks. I had written before about feeling like we were hitting a wall of sorts in our ministry, well that wall is a crumblin! I really believe it started in prayer several weeks ago. As a team we took time just to seek the Lord and His vision, He began to reveal to us our next steps but He also began to reveal to us things that were hindering. I was strongly convicted of pride, thinking I could do things on my own rather than seeking the Lord. As I and others repented of the sin God had shown us in our hearts and sought Him in prayer, we began to see a breakthrough. We were able to hear Him more clearly and truly many of the walls had come down.

2 Fridays ago we hit the streets again, this time it was just Daryl and I and two new friends from Kansas City, who are being led to start their own outreach. We were so blessed to have them out with us and the Lord (as always) did great things!

2 women in particular really stood out to us: A**** and E**** sadly, what I noticed about both was a sense of hopelessness as if every ounce of hope they might have had was stripped away by the pain they daily endured. Each girl looked as though she was merely a shadow of who she once was or who she was intended to be. I can hardly think of anything more devastating than the loss of hope.

A was very willing to talk and shared some about herself, she had been on the streets for a long time. I gave her all of our information and told her we could help her if she wanted to get off the streets. I then prayed for her and said goodbye. I have said a lot of hard goodbyes in my lifetime but the ones I experience on the street week after week are by far some of the most difficult. Everything in me wants to take the girl with me that instant, so that she will never experience the terror of what has become her life again.

When we approached E I saw the same look that I did in A...hopelessness. We asked her a few questions and then asked if we could pray for her and she said, "pray that I get off these streets".  You may think that we commonly hear that but in truth, it is seldom spoken. So, we did pray and told her there was a place we could take her anytime and gave her our number and then without a word she slowly, dejectedly walked away. It was as if she was so hopeless our offer of hope overwhelmed her and not believing it to be possible she became more hopeless even in that instant. My heart broke, as did the rest of team's. We spoke for a few minutes about what the Lord was showing us in that moment and realized we may not have made it perfectly clear that we could help get her off the streets that night. So we piled in the car and drove down to where she was. Daryl rolled down the window and asked her if she wanted to get off the street tonight and she replied by saying "my mom is coming to get me right now". Well, who knows, maybe she did call her mom (although I highly doubt it) but literally just seconds later the police pulled up and stopped her.
We all looked at each other and realized that God had answered us, maybe not in the way we had hoped, but she was going to get off the streets that night.

It is quite common for girls to go to jail and a few days later be back out on the street, my prayer is that in E's case she will not even consider it and will find herself somewhere safe where she can begin a new life. It's not too much to ask, it's not impossible, in fact it is absolutely possible with the Lord and it is His will that she be free. It is God's will that these young women have great hope in Him and that is our heart's desire as well.

Please continue to pray that we would hear from the Lord not just in long term vision but for every single decision, conversation, prayer....everything. We can do nothing apart from Him.

Praise God for all the doors He is opening:
A partnership with the Walter Hoving Home in Pasadena
Our next training class and outreach with Reformation House of Prayer in Los Angeles (December 4th)

A New Name...

In 39 days Jacqueline and I will make the trek back to Cambodia...we are so excited!



When we go we will see our very dear friends who are serving there long-term and the dozens of kids at the orphanage that we fell in love with just 15 months ago.



This picture is of Srey oun (one of the children from the orphanage) and I at the airport before we left. Srey Oun and I had an instant connection and our hearts are deeply knit even today.



Srey Oun is the the name given to most girls, Srey simply means "girl". Just a few weeks ago God gave me the unique privilege of picking a new name for Srey Oun. I prayed and searched lists and lists of baby names for the just the perfect one and here is what the Lord gave me "Bella Salimah". Most people know Bella means beautiful, but did you also know it means "slave to free"? Incredible. Salimah carries the heart of the name I was looking for... it means, to be whole and kept safe...what I desparately long for for my sweet girl and all of the other children who have been abondoned by their families.


Bella longs for affection and wholeness and I pray that in Christ she will find her desires to the fullest.



I can't wait to see my Bella and the rest of the kids! Please keep us in prayer as prepare to go.
Blessings!
Jen

clip from second episode of Newhart

Walter Hoving Home or Bob Newhart Show?

Watch the clip I posted above and then this will all make sense...maybe :)

Our outreach team consists of several (amazing!) people...two of us happen to be named Jen...and one Daryl. Often we introduce ourselves "hi my name is Daryl, this is Jen and this is the other Jen..." Everytime there are two of us Jen's awkwardly giving our names we crack up because of this clip.

So today, we went to visit an amazing Christian home for girls coming out of prostitution(www.sites.silaspartners.com/walterhovinghome) that reminded me a lot of Bob newharts home (hotel...whatever it was) and the little old man who appeared out of nowhere (who happened to have founded the home!) when NO ONE else was around... with his dry sense of humor and mannerisms reminded me of Bob Newhart... it was really a classic experience. :)

I think there might be something to this show... just keeps coming up! ;)

After Hours Outreach November 5th, 2010

I was 19, attending a major University in California, living in my very first apartment. I had everything I could need or want, the opportunity to gain an incredible education, a strong Christian community, friends, family...truly more than I could ever ask for. This is what it was like when I was 19...

But for the girls I met tonight that life is not even a dream, it is the reality of another person that they would probably never dare to hope for. The girls I met tonight are scared, lost, confused, angry, alone, used, abondoned, hungry, tired, abused, fearful, hopeless

As I looked into the eyes of some, shook hands with others.... I couldn't help but shudder with sadness at the reality which they find themselves in (and some obviously much younger than 19). Yet I can say this, I believe by the grace and mercy of God that He offered some just a glimmer of hope tonight, a vestige of evidence that He is there and He does love them. As we shook their hand or handed them a gift or prayed over their lives there was a moment of joy that can only come from a work of the Holy Spirit in such a place of constant tragedy.

Praise God for reaching to the depths for us, praise Him that there is no length He would not go or has not already gone to set us free from sin and bring us into eternal life with Him.

Coming soon to a heart near you...

"Pride and prayerlessness"



"As long as he sought the Lord, God made him prosper.....But when he was strong his heart was lifted up, to his destruction, for he transgressed against the Lord his God by entering the temple of the Lord to burn incense on the altar of incense." 2 Chronicles 26

I read this after having a long conversation with a friend about the condition of my heart. I struggle so much with what others think of me sometimes I can hardly breathe, I become paralyzed and immoveable behind a wall, impenatrable by even the most well-meaning of persons. I overthink every word and action and not that life shouldn't be taken with some caution but in Christ there is no place for fear or worry but for freedom. We talked about different events in life that seemed to have led us this place, seasons where we felt free and seasons where we noticed bondage to our very thoughts and fears. At the end of the conversation we realized that we did well when we were immersed in God's Word and presence and we struggled when He became secondary or worse third or fourth ....even last in our hearts.

What could lead someone to this place? Like King Uzziah, I begin to trust in my own strength. I take what He has done and begin to believe it is what I have done and that I can just keep going without His help. Sure I pray and even read a little each day but there is no depth of my pursuit of Christ, no evidence that I am completely dependent on Him even for my next breathe.

Father forgive me for my pride and for placing myself on the throne, please take your rightful place, drawing my heart close and ever increasing my desire for You. Amen.