Coming soon to a heart near you...

"Pride and prayerlessness"



"As long as he sought the Lord, God made him prosper.....But when he was strong his heart was lifted up, to his destruction, for he transgressed against the Lord his God by entering the temple of the Lord to burn incense on the altar of incense." 2 Chronicles 26

I read this after having a long conversation with a friend about the condition of my heart. I struggle so much with what others think of me sometimes I can hardly breathe, I become paralyzed and immoveable behind a wall, impenatrable by even the most well-meaning of persons. I overthink every word and action and not that life shouldn't be taken with some caution but in Christ there is no place for fear or worry but for freedom. We talked about different events in life that seemed to have led us this place, seasons where we felt free and seasons where we noticed bondage to our very thoughts and fears. At the end of the conversation we realized that we did well when we were immersed in God's Word and presence and we struggled when He became secondary or worse third or fourth ....even last in our hearts.

What could lead someone to this place? Like King Uzziah, I begin to trust in my own strength. I take what He has done and begin to believe it is what I have done and that I can just keep going without His help. Sure I pray and even read a little each day but there is no depth of my pursuit of Christ, no evidence that I am completely dependent on Him even for my next breathe.

Father forgive me for my pride and for placing myself on the throne, please take your rightful place, drawing my heart close and ever increasing my desire for You. Amen.