It was once said that home is where the heart can laugh without shyness and where the heart's tears can dry at their own pace. I hope this space will be a place you find yourself at home. I hope you will find safety, comfort and joy on these pages. You are seen and you are loved dear friend. Thanks for stopping by!

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

World Mental Health Day

Today is World Mental Health Day AND National Emergency Department Nurses Day, so I'm giving you a twofer in this post as I share some stories about mental health from work and my personal story as well...

He thought he was having a stroke. He was a young man, probably around 30 years old and he had numbness and tingling in his hands and legs. His heart was racing too. He was medically fine though, I could tell just by looking at him. So I asked him a few more questions... was it a particularly stressful time for him? Did something happen recently of significance? Did he want to talk about it? He answered yes to all of the above. He wasn't having a stroke, he had anxiety. Most mental health issues will also present physically, and sometimes in unexpected ways. It's so important to ask questions pertaining not only to someones physical health but their mental health as well to get a full picture of the presenting problem and possible routes of treatment. It's important for us to ask of each other too, take a minute today to ask someone how they're really doing.

Blood was still dripping down her arm when they brought her to me. She had cut her wrists several times. She was 15. Her brother found her and told her Grandmother, whom she lived with. They brought her straight to the ED. As she went to put her green gown on, her Grandmother mouthed the words to me, "she's crazy." I decided to have her Grandmother wait outside. She came out in her green gown a few minutes later, still bleeding and sat on the bed. "Want to tell me what happened?" I asked as I firmly held gauze on her wound. She began to tell me how she missed her parents, her mom had left when she was little, she was in Texas now. Her dad lived nearby but had a new family now and she never saw him. She was abandoned and heartbroken and didn't want to live. I hear you sweet girl, I hear you. I told her how valuable she was, how much we needed her in the world, how it was ok to have all those feelings but that she could do something about it, that healing and hope were possible. Remember to speak words of life to yourself and others today and everyday.

She had a 3-week old baby. She was there for him but a few questions in and I could see she was there for herself too. She was overwhelmed, scared, tired, her emotions were all over the place. She questioned if she was doing it right, doing enough. Mental health care for new moms is so important and often overlooked. Being a new mom is HARD and we have to do better in our follow-up care when it comes to mental health. Check in on the new moms in your life, if you are one, don't be afraid to ask for help or talk about your feelings.

"You always seem SO calm, how do you handle all of this?" my co-worker asked me one night. She's right, my demeanor is typically very even, especially in crisis situations. But I struggle with anxiety, sometimes paralyzing anxiety. I've had two panic attacks and countless sleepless nights. I have trouble making decisions or feeling confident about anything, I'm constantly second guessing myself. I worry about what I did or didn't do or say, I worry about other's perception of me, my thoughts spin around me, suffocating me. I'm so glad I asked for help. I'm so glad I told my friends and talked to a therapist. I'm grateful that I understood that there was no shame in my needing help to care for my mental health, that there truly is no health without mental health. I'm grateful for all the people who have removed any sort of stigma or shame I might feel. I'm hopeful that we're heading in that direction in general and that we will begin to treat mental health with the same importance that we do physical health, the two are so inextricably tied, you really can't have one without the other.